Sunday, February 08, 2015

Wow, it's been 3 years since I posted in here.

There has been a few changes since I last posted.  I moved house, me & Nadia still live in lovely old Tooting but we moved from our horrible old (cold) house to a much nicer flat in a little private hidden "estate" which doesn't make it feel like we actually live in London because it's so quiet.  It's really close (like a 2 minute walk) to Tooting Common too which is such a lovely place to go to when the sun is shining - plus we scattered my Grandad's ashes there and I like to go there to visit him if I'm having a hard time. This year I'm actually going to move again as me & Martin are moving in together, about time seeing as we will have been dating for 6 years this year, seriously where does the time go? 
I can't explain how I feel about moving, I hate moving as it's such a stress, packing and boxes everywhere is just so stressful and obviously me and Nadia have lived together for the last 7 years and I'm sad to be leaving but on the other hand I am so excited about living with Martin.  I am so over the long distance element of us, I don't know how we've managed to last the last 6 years on literally only seeing each other at the weekends.  I definitely don't want to move out of Tooting as I love living here. 

I also have a new job, still within nursing but I'm a "Nutrition Specialist Nurse", we do some really interesting things within the role and I've gained so many new skills.  I've been doing it for the last year and it was all off the back of my weightloss journey.  I feel really passionate about trying to help others, if I can do it blahblahblah and I wanted to go somewhere within the sphere of nutrition, I actually looked at doing some nutrition courses but the girl I work with was on the ward and mentioned they were recruiting a second post so I went for it and taadaa.  The transition from working on a ward to doing this role was really hard and I struggled at first tbh as having worked on my first ward for 6 years I could do the job with my eyes closed, it was easy and I knew it inside out so going to something brand new and in a new department was tough.  Having to learn stupid things like the fax number/codes for rooms/telephone numbers and meeting all the different people really frustrated me at times because it was like the really small things built up and I felt stupid having to ask for the number a billion times.  A year on though and I'm really really enjoying it.  Everyone within the team is amazing and so helpful.  I'm glad I went for it.

Reading back through the old posts on here has given me a new thought of motivation as I've put on some of the weight I've lost and I feel a bit blergh, I also have a really tough time sleeping and I think it's probably due to my diet.  I stopped drinking caffeine and I also think that helped, recently I've been drinking so much coffee but don't ask for decaf, I need to get back into that really as when I gave it up completely I slept so much better.  I'm still awake at 2am most nights and getting about 4 hours sleep which I would assume isn't helping to that blergh feeling.

Looking back at the old photos on here my hair has changed so much since the last photo! I can't believe how light my hair was and how blonde it was!  I've had it red since then and it's got much longer;

I got bored of the red though about 4 months ago and have tried to dye over it which was a right pain and no amount of brown dye got rid of it and it just ended up going auburn for ages until recently when I finally found one dark enough to cover it.  I really like being dark brown and it's so much easier to manage than the red which needed dying all the frigging time.  It's got even longer now though than the red hair and I love it.  You can do so much more with long hair;

 Looking at that photo reminds me that I probably should get some new glasses as I've still got the same ones from the photos in 2011.  Oops.

Okay, I will update this more often now I'm back on the healthy living kick.  I'm going to try and update it at least once a week so I can keep a track of my weight loss and just general life rambles.


Thursday, October 25, 2012

I've turned into one of those people that I always looked at and wondered how they managed to sit by themselves in a coffee shop, however I'm doing it today for the first time and it's actually quite interesting.  Lots of different people coming in and out.  it's quite relaxing, I'm sitting here with my laptop and a Slimming World magazine because I want to look through it and get some ideas for recipes for next week but also looking around and wondering what lives these people lead, because you know, I'm nosey.

Since starting the healthy eating kick last week I've been getting on really well and I have lost 7lbs, some of that is probably just my body adjusting back to not eating a shed load of crap but it feels good regardless.  I have done a few different days this time, before I just did green days but now I've mixed it up a bit and have done more red days than green which is nice as this could possibly solve my problem about having a low iron count, I think I ate red meat about 5 times last week, my doctor will be pleased. It also feels good that I haven't been eating as much bread/carbs as I usually did, doing green I always ate a lot of pasta and rice but this time it's been more vegetables than anything.  My favourite thing about red days is you can have a nice piece of lean juicy steak, yumyum, as long as there are no potatoes, or like a minimal amount of potatoes, that's fine though, I don't mind missing out on carbs right now.  Christmas is coming and I want to lose weight, badly.

Here are some photos of some dinners I've cooked recently:

Extra lean mince turned into burgers with half a baby bel on top and some home made coldslaw:

Mince & grave with veggies - proper winter warming food.

STEAK!!! this was lovely, and we roasted an onion as well which when roasted goes all sweet and yummy:

More pictures later on xx

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

So after much convincing myself starting my healthy eating could start tomorrow, and then tomorrow, and then tomorrow, i've finally sat myself down and sorted myself out.  I worked out how much weight I've put on and when I saw how much it took off my total weight loss I was disappointed in myself.  I weight from triple figures to just double, not by that many, but enough to make me sit up and think what the fudge am I doing to myself.

So from now, right this minute, I am sitting down online and collecting recipes and re-reading through all the slimming world information I had before so that I can get back on the wagon so to speak.  I enjoyed cooking my own meals and making up recipes, I felt healthier when I was eating 'good' food and cooking my own meals, but the most important thing was I felt confident.  I would say in the last 2 weeks I have really lost my confidence again, and I feel fat and ugly.  I know a lot of people feel like that but I actually went through a time where I felt good about myself so I am aiming to get back to that feeling as I know it feels good.

I've joined a weight loss motivation thread online and it is exactly 11 weeks until my last 'weigh in' before Christmas, I've set myself a target to lose 2lbs a week during this time which means a weight loss of about a stone and a half before Christmas which I will feel happy about.  Of course anything more than this is also good but I just do not want to put anymore weight on, it's not a good feeling.  There is no way in hell that I am going back to my weight that I was, I never want to be that person ever again.

I think this time round I'm going to do more red days on slimming world as I think pasta/rice/bread is my downfall, I bloat terribly when I eat carbs and I think this is what's making me feel bloated recently.  Red days means mainly meat and salad/vegetables with no carbs really.  I've never really been much of a meat fan but I'm going to give it a go, tonight I think I'm going to get extra lean mince beef and make some kind of bolognaise to have with roasted veggies, or make some meatballs or something, I haven't quite decided yet.  I like this kind of weather purely to eat wintery food such as soup etc.

Right, time to continue looking online at recipes and motivation, expect more posts in here more often with updates :)

Saturday, October 13, 2012

I spent about 75% of my time dreaming about starting my own business.
Don't get me wrong, I love my job & the security that it brings with it and I love nursing, however a part of me if a really keen baker.  I love baking for people and I understand that baking for people, on a large scale, is obviously very stressful, but I seriously love baking stuff for people.  Seeing people's faces when they see things I've baked for them just makes it all worthwhile.
I've got into baking properly recently, over the last 2 years I've really tried hard at making nice cakes.  I think my cupcakes are at a really sellable level, I see some cupcakes on stalls in markets and I honestly think, without sounding bigheaded, that mine look better, and I would go as far as to say that they may even taste better, although I don't stop to buy cakes so I guess I shouldn't comment too much on that.

I talk to the girls about opening a business and we even came up with a name.  I think my week off this week will involve looking/google into how to start your own business, what stuff you need from a legal point of view and if you have to register your business or even the name.  I need to try and get myself out there a bit more and get my name out there.  Start small, aim big :)

Might as well spread the word a little bit by posting some of my recent bakes.

Cake for Carlene & Derek's anniversary.
Red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting, covered in royal icing.

 Red velvet cupcakes to go alongside the cake.  Again with cream cheese frosting.

 Malteser chocolate brownies.  Having never made brownies before I found these quite easy.

Strawberry & almond baked cheesecake.  Again I have never made a cheesecake before so for a first attempt I didn't think it turned out too bad.  I cut out the strawberries with this cute little heart cutter that I bought a while ago in York.  I think it makes it look cute.

Some Take That inspired chocolate sponge with a fudge middle & topped with chocolate frosting cupcakes for my best friends birthday.

And finally a simple victoria sandwich that I baked for my Grandad before he sadly passed away.  This had fresh strawberries and cream in the middle as he always liked fresh strawberries in a cake.  I decorated the top with icing sugar and two hearts because he was a truely amazing man.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

So, apparently according to this site I haven't posted here for about 8 or 9 months.  It doesn't feel like that long but the numbers do not lie.  I was having a self indulgent moment and reading back through my entries, some of them are proper cringeworthy but some of them really made me smile.  I guess that's why I started writing again as it's nice to have some memories to look back and read.

I'm currently sat out in my garden, this summer has been pretty crap, mostly rain, although yesterday and today were lovely and sunny.  I'm lucky that in my current job I work 4 days a week only and get Thursdays off, I'm currently sat out in my new garden enjoying the sun.  I really like the sun, something that has really only happened since I lost weight. 

A lot of things have happened since I last posted, my weightloss is still ongoing, I managed to lose a total of 9st 7lbs, I do fluctuate around 6lbs if I've been out for a nice weekend with the girls and I am currently about 6lbs heavier than I was when I got to the lowest weight but I'm not overly worried, I am still eating healthily, I've started going running (haha, yes, running) and my friend Jo showed me this fabulous app called 'Couch to 5k' which I've started doing.  I'm doing the Race For Life in July so I really want to do this so I can run some of it and really beat the times I did when I was fat.  I'm almost at the end of week two and that's got me running for 1.5 minutes and then walking for 2, it does it over a 30 minute period so hopefully at the end I'll be able to run 35 minutes non stop.  It is definately increasing my stamina.  I've started walking a lot more than I did too.  I think I want to start trying to tone up what I've lost.  My body is annoying and I always lose weight from my waist moreso than anywhere else, my hips are my biggest thing and my bum, but I've started doing weights and hula hooping to try and get them down a bit more.  I never thought I'd be one to actually enjoy exercise but I do enjoy it, mainly due to being able to see different results.

Things with me and Martin are still going strong, we celebrated our third anniversary back in April, we didn't do very much bar go for a meal because I've also moved house (yay) and I moved in April so I was SKINT.  I'm very grateful for having such a loving and caring boyfriend, yeah we have our ups and downs, but that's normal but he is a lovely lovely person and he always makes sure I'm happy and looks after me nicely.  We are in the process of looking for a nice holiday to go on in October.  I am always looking to the future and cannot wait for the time that he moves to London and we can be nearer to each other.  I don't mind having a 'long distance' relationship but it would be nice to get to see each other on more than just weekends or bank holidays.  Nothing beats that feeling of falling asleep in someones arms, and I look forwards to the day that I can do that everyday with him.

I think one of the biggest things that has happened to me since I last posted was that my Grandad was diagnosed with mesothelioma, which is a cancer of the lung.  He was starting to get short of breath a lot and one thing led to the other and he was diagnosed.  I'm very proud of my family as we've all pulled together and help out where we can.  He became poorly quite quickly and suffers all the time with shortness of breath and pain and his cancer started growning on the outside of his body.  He's currently living with my aunt at the moment as he got confused taking so many medications that he wasn't really well and stopped eating etc, now he's being looked after properly he's feeling better and looks better.  He just spent the last two or so weeks at my Mums and it was lovely being able to go over and spend quality time with him, I like being able to help him whenever I can because he looked after me when I was younger and spent time keeping me happy, so of course I'd like to return the favour to him.  I guess at times I find it incredibly sad that he got cancer, I was thinking earlier that all  my grandparents have died from unnatural causes, it kinda sucks really.  No point in thinking about the negative though, I'm really thinking that it's best to be positive and enjoy whatever time we have left with him and make his life as happy as possible, my grandad is such a lovely funny man, I really love him so much.

Right that's it for now, I'm off to enjoy the sunshine a bit more.  Ciao. 

Thursday, September 08, 2011

today i went shopping, i decided it was time to go out and buy a new coat as my old one is literally too big now and hangs off me like a carrier bag so because the cold is coming, and it is freezing out already off i went to buy one. last year i got my nice one from tesco's so i went there first, no decent coats. they literally had 3 coats in and that was it, poor. however i did find this beauty in there, it's so cute and will keep me nice and warm when it's freezing outside:

so i left tesco and then went to the second shop i wanted to go to, and that was a shop called surbiton sugarcraft as i have majorly got into baking cupcakes and cakes so i wanted to go there to get some cupcake boxes and cases etc, but when i got there the shop was closed due to 'emergency works'. how gay. i was annoyed at that point because that was two places that i was looking forwards to buying things. so i decided to go to kingston but on the way i did a u-turn and went to asda instead as i remember seeing a post on facebook recently about how asda have been doing a new cake range.

this is what i ended up buying in there. am well chuffed.

the reason i am so excited about the boots is because they are knee high and i could never wear them before, my legs were always too fat, but oh noooo, these go on nicely and are lovely and comfy, im in love.

i also bought from there red food colouring, black and silver cupcake cases and some purple and pink foil cupcake cases. they also have cupcake carriers in there now which is amazing. i bought two boxes which have spaces for 6 cupcakes in and then one pack of single holders. amazing. asda has loads of amazing cupcake things at the moment, i've tried to find some photos of them but there is none. boo. i shall have to take a picture of the ones i've got as soon as i can be bothered.

i've been quite productive today and cleaned the kitchen, and then i cleaned my room. me and nadia went swimming earlier on but there were 2 schools in there, so it was full of brats. we promptly left and came home, we're going back at 8pm so am currently cooking my dinner, jacket spud, mmmm. i shall be able to swim it all off later.

Sunday, September 04, 2011

So, I'm still going swimming regularly, am loving it, I don't dread getting in the pool in front of people now because there are people there that are much bigger than me and tbh I take off my glasses now so if anyone is looking at me, well I can't see them, sorted.

I've found this really good app for my iPod which documents how many lengths/metres you've swam and you can do challenges, such as swim as many lengths which would equal swimming the channel etc, I'm currently half way through that one. Am trying to go swimming twice a week at the minute however am going to try and go three times this week because I enjoy it that much, it's not a chore, it's very enjoyable, apart from when you get those idiot people who don't know the difference between slow/medium/fast lane and when you're not that fast they insist on splashing past you, very irriating. I might try and find myself some googles so when they do splash past I won't have to turn my head to stop the water from going in my eyes. I've also decided that I think I've drank about 2l of chlorine water, not good.

So yes, finally a kind of exercise that I really enjoy. It's also good for the old arms because you're using them all the time. I reckon that I've started to notice them looking a little bit more toned, but I'm not sure if that's just me or not.

This weekend was so awesome, on Friday I went down to meet Martin near his work as they were having a summer party, it was all free, they had ice cream vans, candyfloss, a bbq, bouncy castle, coconut shy etc etc, we got 2 free drinks (which sucked as I was driving) and I got to meet some of his work friends. Amazing, I thought it was lovely that his company had put on such a good event. We drove home around 930ish, stopping off at our favourite place (tesco - ha) where I bought a new muffin tin so I can make even better cupcakes. We got home around 1130 and I was shattered. On Saturday we were going up to Liverpool to surprise our friend Sophie for her birthday, she had no idea we were coming so when we walked into her house she screamed so loud, hehe, was a lovely surprise. We went into town and then onto a club where I drank so much alcohol but didn't manage to get the slightest bit drunk, which was rather random. We also ended the night as usual in McDonalds, gr. When I woke up this morning I felt rough literally from eating that shite but oh well. Today we went into Liverpool again and did some shopping, me and Mart made some lego figures that are meant to be us, hehe, they're so cute. Going to put them up in my room, the only problem with them was that they had no girls hair, so next time we go to Westfields I'm going into the Lego shop to get some girls hair, as I currently look like a boy ;) I'm dressed as a nurse in my blue work trousers and Mart decided to dress like he's out looting, haha like a hoodie. They're wicked, don't you think?

I'm going to make a food post tomorrow and post some of my yummy cupcakes that I made the other day, they were so nice, completely not for the diet concious though, but they were for a special occasion, keep your eyes out for my post :) xx